Being-knowing who you are

The American writer and poet E.E Cummings said that “It takes courage to grow and become who you really are.”

I have spent my whole life trying to discover who I really am, and I can say that now, in the middle of my life, I have finally discovered myself and I am delighted to meet myself and I am proud of who I am.

The time and place in which you are born conditions you, the family in which you grow up, the school, the neighborhood, your circle of friends, even the house in which you live. Childhood and adolescence are key moments in the life of every human being, it can direct your path in one direction or another, and you have to be strong and self-confident enough not to let yourself be taken to places that you really do not want to go, with people who don’t suit you or who use you for their projects, forgetting yours.

This can happen because they have not known how to love you, because they have not given you the security you needed, because you have not known how to communicate how you feel for fear of rejection or of being laughed at, for this reason you show those around you that everything is going well, that you are okay, that you are who they think you are and you do what is expected of you. And what plans do you have for yourself? Surely you have forgotten them by putting others before you.

Be aware of how you feel, sad, anxious, empty, alone even when you are surrounded by people? Do you suffer because you have relationship problems and you need the approval, affection, and acceptance of others to feel safe or secure?

I tell you a secret: this has a solution!

  1. LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Accept what comes into your life with a positive attitude. Generally what comes into our lives is the best thing that can happen to us at that moment, your expectations, experiences and perceptions is what makes you live it in a positive or negative way.
  2. ENJOY MOMENTS OF SOLITUDE. A few minutes a day are enough to connect with your being without external interference. Savor each moment with yourself, listen to yourself, feel yourself, understand yourself.
  3. CONNECT WITH YOUR CHILDHOOD PASSIONS. Think about what you loved to do as a child, as it may be a clue to your truest expressions. Is there something you want to try today?
  4. WRITE A DIARY. Take a small action every day to express your values, emotions, needs. You can also write a wish list, it can be weekly, monthly or yearly. I recommend making one annual and one monthly and rereading them. At the end of the month or year, review it to recognize your achievements.
  5. CREATE AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS. Be yourself, accept yourself and show your true self without fear of what others expect or think of you. It is likely that if you have always behaved in a complacent way, you have a great propensity for empathy. Take advantage of that strength and reach out to others to get the support you need.
  6. CONNECT WITH YOUR BEING. Sometimes we end up compromising who we are because it is hard for us to say no. Write on a small card your response to requests for your time or an opinion you are not willing to give. You don’t have to be eloquent: “I’ll have to think about it” works.
  7. CARPE DIEM. This Roman locution that means “Seize the moment”, reminds us of the ephemeral nature of life and the need to take advantage of each day, each moment, live in the present and give life to our days, knowing that each day that passes does not come back.


Rosa Herrera

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